awoke
it must be me
why could it be you
i fight for my power
you pretend it doesn't
exist
you despise me
you wanted me to finally
one day slip
well i have
i have gave you support
and in turn
have gave me none
open your blind eyes
its you wanting out
ive held on
been crushed
accused of being a user
for what
i needed your help
you refused
its up to you to fix this
i need to feel like
a better human
quit pretending its
all my fault
wakeup
swimming in a lake
there is an old woman
she lives away on an island
rests her head
on the sand
thinks
that alone
she will be washed away
carried further than
deep ocean current
with the sand particles
floating back forth
drifting away in sleep
there is an young woman
she lives on the beach
rests her head
on the driftwood
wonders
that lonely
she will travel away
further than her mind on
a silver train
with tree rings
white in winter
a shiver sea wind
there is a child
she lives in the mountains
rests her head
on an outcrop of rock
dreams
that afraid
she will be taken away
further than her mothers soul
in summer rain
with flowing water
down the river
sink into the lake
there is a baby
she lives in a whom
rests her head
on the wall of warmness
relives
swimming in a lake
she will enter a world
further than the one before
in century past
pieces from another
created a reborn soul
float on in water of life
who.is.they?
remain.
and stay with time,
away.
so they say,
debt.
save your monies
free.
a day sans debt,
away.
from the office that day,
kick.
down a ladder of hope,
leave.
fall morning sun ray,
away.
i heard they say.
habit
this habit is so hard to break,
it was so wasy to make.
so easy.
so....
so long.
buh bye my friends
so long.
it was not like anytime again.
so long.
am i dreaming>
i feel that i am tiered
and i falling to solitude.
on this day,
i will sit an pull out
all of my hair
it will be so easy.
so long.
buh bye my friend
so long.
it will not hurt like anytime again.
so long.
so long.
katakiuchi
Now my charms are all o'erthrown,
And what strength I have's mine own,
Which is most faint: now, 'tis true,
I must be here confined by you,
Or sent to Naples. Let me not,
Since I have my dukedom got
And pardon'd the deceiver, dwell
In this bare island by your spell;
But release me from my bands
With the help of your good hands:
Gentle breath of yours my sails
Must fill, or else my project fails,
Which was to please. Now I want
Spirits to enforce, art to enchant,
And my ending is despair,
Unless I be relieved by prayer,
Which pierces so that it assaults
Mercy itself and frees all faults.
As you from crimes would pardon'd be,
Let your indulgence set me free.Shakespearean characters
--prospero
hayden. killbear.
The afternoon light
was reaching down to the site
As my old love stared
Into the fire with her new love there
Camping up North, the same place we shared
Behind the van
They heard the crashing of land
And they looked to see
A grizzly bear lurking amongst the trees
Searching their ground for something to eat
From what I'm told
My old love just froze
But her man got scared
He started to run, thinking she had begun
But he left her there, alone in the woods with the bear
So the bear all surprised
Looked right into her eyes
And decided that
She was it's prey or some kind of threat
So it followed it's instincts to deal with it
It charged up towards her
And stopped just before her
And stood up high
Swiped at her shoulder and dragged her by the torso
Around the site, And that's how my old love died
If I'd been there I wouldn't have run from the bear
That's the worst mistake
I would've yelled and banged pots
And made sure that my love wasn't taken that way
raining
my skin rotts within
muscles decaying over bone
brittle snaps from lack of calcium
blood flows out (and in) veins
curved failing to stay upright
SNAP.
broken failing to stay curved
my vertebrae dangle on a thread
mimicking a pendulum in FFWD
over a severed spinal cord
my skin rotts within
eyes only helpful for colour and shapes
in absence of thick glass
weak relative to the animals that surround
and
around my body is fibrous
with works of satan.
difficult to ponder
a connection of all fibers,
creating a uniform seal
with nothing but evil
flow.
down gradient like water
blood is pooling at my feet
my knees are weak
fall to the street
raindrops trickle
into my eardrum
over my pupil
stings.
mine?
are they saline?
laying the street.
sob.
sulk.
a murder
Take the giver of our lives, push her aside,
Cut down the greens, and spit black to the hevens
Make way for the rumblings of trucks and trains,
To put carbon on your wife’s finger,
I hope her smile will just this murder.
For every twinkle in her eye and every kiss of thanks she gives,
steals a million of year from our host.
Turn a blind eye, for you don’t understand her bleed, her pain,
Think, open your eye, look to these dirty skies,
Like a drowning child, she is screaming, this slow, terrible death,
For every excessive passing ray of sun is like a dagger in her back,
but the knife of hate is in your hand, on your finger
I hope her smile will just this murder
avalonska
sorry. what?
i could not hear/
oh
it was only my
foot in my ear
don't you say?
my mind is over
my mind is over
who!
i could not speak/
ah
it was only my
life in the air
implied promises
and can i stay,
i dont have time for this
and for you,
all this yes,
it is gonna break as
i feel my heart going out
lets see if you can
pull me out of this
i am not certain
i am just stuck here
on the edge
standing on the edge
everything is going
going to break
metal heart....
Losing the star without a sky
Losing the reasons why
losing the calling that you've been faking
And I'm not kidding you
It's damned if you don't and it's damned if you do
Be true 'cause they'll lock you up
in a sad sad zoo
what are you tryin to prove
By hiding you're not worth a thing
Sew your fortunes on a string
And hold them up to light
Blue smoke will take
A very violent flight
And you will be changed
and everything
And you will be in a very sad sad zoo.
I once was lost but now I'm found
was blind
But now I see
How selfish of you
to believe
in the meaning of
all the bad dreams
Metal heart you're not hiding
Metal heart you're not worth a thing
---
the words of the godess herself
cat power.
--
it is all in my mind
not something
i usually post
but
there are some people
who lift my soul
further than i could
ever
with words
glad
there are some people
who could spin a vowel heavy
word into my thick head
and play it slowly back
to what seems like an
infinitum
driving home the thought
why these lyrics
sound so deep in my heart
simple. yes.
but we all require a little more
more thought
than what is just presented.
--It is all in your mind--
Well it's all in you mind
It's all in you mind
Well it's all in your mind
And I wanted to be
I wanted to be
Wanted to be your good friend
Well I cannot believe
You got a devil up your sleeve
And he's talking to me
And I cannot believe
And I wanted to be
I wanted to be your good friend
You're all scared and stiff
A sick stolen gift
And the people you're with
They're all scared and stiff
And I wanted to be
Wanted to be your good friend
----------beck------------
simonize
change; alter; modify
so dont take your life away,
would you rather stay
you could follow me
we will seek the night away
we are just passers on the street
until some one will say
"you fall
how do you do my love"
"Hey dont stop and turn away
follow me
we will seek the night away
we won't just be passers
on the street
turn it
follow me to my disaster
"you fall,
don't look and walk away
you can lose your life today"
"you should turn and
walk with me
don't even follow anyone"
Ágætis Byrjun
Bright Hopes Come True
As We Walk Downtown
Smiling And Laughing
As Friendship And Exhaustion Collide
We Celebrate
A Two Year Wait
A Distant Dream Is Born
We Eat And Drink Ourselves Full
And Pay Up
With All We Have For The Day
We Sit Down Excited
Listen To Ourselves Play The Music
No One Seems To Listen
This Is Completely Different
We Lived In Another World
Where We Were Never Invisible
A Few Days Later
We Speak Again
But It Didn't Sound Good
We Were All In Agreement
In Agreement About Most Things
We’ll Do Better Next Time
This Is An Alright Start
killbear
wow that was you. kill me dead.
i followed your mother home,
she made me a meal and after we....
so, together it was you,
who could kill
someone is not understanding your want
wow it was you. kill you dead
you followed my brother home,
he made you a drink and then you...
so, together it was me,
who could die
someone who is lost. unfound.
wow it was us. both us dead.
we followed some path home
i fucked your mind and after we...
fucked again.
not broken. yet
it is damned if you dont
it is damned if you do
i sat here until i cried
my back was in ache
from being here all day
i ran
i ran
i ran
to no avail
did i get used.
i am bruised
i am sore
i have a dent on my side
it hurts makes me scream
i though out ambience
to hid the cracking of
my internal structure
i love doing the tasks
to comprehend the joy
through mathamatics and
colours
it is the most artistic
the most powerful and
beautiful processes
witout inspiration
i am getting old yes
but i can still do
what i was set out to do
and for that i cannot die
and on the day
when i can not perform a task
then i will contemplate this life
and wonder if i did try everything
i was able to do.
as far as i fly
this is the last time out for me,
i am not even thinking,
i am just taking off and landing.
i feel that i am not me,
you can come and find me,
i am home
alone
in my head.
and if i'll meet you,
and say
this is the last time out for me
do let my mind stray,
i'll let you go,
and leave myself today
and yes i'll do this
every fall,
when the grass dies
and i wave bye
i am just wasting my time
thinking of you
when i am in the shower
there is no room for me,
i live amoungst the dying trees,
you don't really need me
and i'll waste my time,
but remember when,
we were young,
it was summer
it was summer
all this seems the same,
and you'll go away,
somewhere,
but don't lie,
you'll be back someday
it may be another sunday
in my life,
but summer has passed
and all these thoughts
have been flooded
i have looked at it
from a different end
the way that it would have gone
would have lead to the day i die
there is no way
we will follow you
you will be the only to kill time
and i remember you walk
through that door
i am wasted
and you only want more
we'll walk through the door
you start it, and i'll see
we'll look back,
when you are older
and realize that
none of us are better
it feels like
everything is over
it is just like we started it off
you wasted time,
so don't try to change,
but we all do...
.two
i saw something
that is real,
you speak out
too me,
only with
science and silence
to me:
"well i am fine".
too many
times i was safety,
it is close now,
save me, it is something
new.
two.
and looking down at everything caotic
everything known as beauty
feet slowly lifting weightless off
the steal floor below
little shinny dots in the sky
brighten with every
ever-lasting second
a world not known by any other
imagine thoughts floating
running through his head
as the blood is relieved
from the great earth's
pull to the core
a state of freedom?
perhaps much more
something only a few
humans will ever feel
i am not envious
not a bit
i don't think i would
go back
just close my eyes
and drift slowly away
in my capsul
in my mind
in peace
away from the 3rd planet's
gravity
-- a thought for the astronaut
J. A. Gagarin
commander of Vostok 1 space vessel
first animal to escape
Earth's gravitational field
afilmaboutnothing
life is a film about nothing
with a soundtrack not worth listening
ears filled with the movements of
fingers on a keyboard
drowning of overworked fans in an overclocked
humming environment
my eyes can only tell stories
through my plastic eyeballs
the only chance i can see
the "true world" is through a camera lens
i fell in love with a fictional character once
i cried and died
all at the same moment
when i noticed
life is a film about nothing
a part. a chapter.
saw a squirl
looking for a fuck
looked like she was down
down on luck
she ran to the tree to find her mate
he had ripped apart his insides with a sliver
dying
looks to her and says years too late
i liked the tree and you just came
leave[s]
stop it right here
so it fell. i stopped; said,
"it is the shame
that hurts when
you're so proud"
'we never change do we?'
says the radio played
through my phones.
so it fell. down.
again.
when it seems not to care
reading signs from the back
seat of a car
thinking of words to say
only to have them swallowed
i don't choose to lack
for the care of myself and others
i just find that it
turns out in the end
brundlefly
today
could be much better than
washing away
and take off everything
don't stray
from where we have
already been
i knew
it isn;t there.
a magic girl
timing is cold
twenty first century
makes us all want to be
an independant stranger
that makes us all
learn
and we laugh a bit danger
to everyone without a friend
Cos i need today
could be much better than
washing away
and take off everything
dont stray
to where we all ready been
i knew
it isn;t there
i woke this morn
last night i had the strangest dream
there wasn't difference between pink and blue
everything molded into one gray
nothing that i've ever seen
i left today for something better
i found a river, the one in my dream
carrying glaciers over water
i got in the way, so i wrote this letter
'hi, it's me', i have died but i came back
you can hit me back, with full postage
i will leave for a day or four
come back to my sister's Jack
find me over the sky ,somewhere dry
and if your are promised trust
for the price of silver
ask why.
sold out.
jump to conclusions,
fly to the end
you fell off, hard.
get back on kid.
Dicks get you down,
and clowns all seem to just frown.
know thyself.
for a friend who looks lost to me
You don't deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you got won't make you feel better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
Little part of your life you're keeping together
--excerpt from
Elliott Smiths' Twilight
here is not
all is found,
over keyboards and screens,
only hope for salvation is a friend
from the other side, and over top the mountains
it could be flying to the nearest ocean,
but who needs to break down and cry
when your only friend is a piece
of equipment designed to ease the eye
surely we all don't fade away
just move away slowly.
slowly.
life updated.
ate a lovely egg, onion, garlic, red pepper, hot mustardbreakfast sandwich with Itallian bakery breadsaw a car crashdreamt of winning millions of dollarstook the LRTthe snow is meltingriver is thawingpaid my rentbought an unaffordable wireless imousewent downtown and saw all the beautiful peoplelistened to a busker in the stationgot 5 discs from the library found out i can borrow many more (score)again didnt give a shit about the NHL lockoutfiona is getting fixed (no not neutered) under the lovely warrenty (going to west world)going to buy a scribbler?study metamorphic?do my hydro assignment?metamorphic lab?chill out?get drunk?
its no need. we move too fast
day gain some length
as the sun makes its way back to the south-east to rise
rather than the south south-east sun rises we have gotten
i don't live in a shadow
for the entire day
now
mornings give me rise
day and night give me darkened
thoughts and dreams and song
it is dark at night
really dark
substance in the head
everything is in my mind
everything is just thrown out
we can't all get along
but we sometimes try
with heads hanging down to the floor
the place where we left our mind
in some other world i will find
something more
if you love me punch me in the face
cought in between a storm and a sea
alone feels so much better
when no one is around
can't understand me?
there are controls
and if you can't contain
i'll bring out the ephedrine
after an americano of cafeine
must i complain and describe what i've seen?
it's done, it's over
it never began
only a model within my head
played out like a Matlab program
it's done, it's over
love timing
i learned today
the kings of convenience
are comming to canada
vancouver
i will be in red deer
for trad cup.
i am sad
very
sad.
move. not mouve.
A battle.
I can (kind of) see the light
reach
reach a little further
then BAM!
the door slams
the light comes on
the computer crashes
life falls
but it is always comes up and at it again.
the rollercoaster i can't not go on
i am forced by it's mystery
for those highest times
however,
the climax does end
and the time comes as the coaster
plunges towards the earth only
being brought down by gravity
Euphoria.
The bottom eventually comes
the length of decent never known
but proportional to the intensity of it
The tiresome bottom at where
relatively
no one is happy
And then to make the long steady climb
back to the top
Well atleast i am climbing
and didnt fall of the track
heard it here last
struggle hard
in the yard
as the tension gets beneath you
i've tried a thousand times
or maybe more
just to reach you
water drips
head trips
until it makes you
want to recleanse
2:37am: will i see you again
sitting
waiting
wondering
wanting to sleep
standing
pacing
walking
wanting to sleep
lost on a bus: january 2005
it is a strange reality
we all live in
my thoughts come out
in scribbles on a bus
only 30 hours to go, seams like forever
true the trucks, cars, busses,
show the total downfall
of this society
what happened to living in place
using what is infront of my face
but i need to leave
maybe this is why some can stay
look ahead and not to the side
some of us live on one track
one road one life
22 years in place
22 years
For me
edmonton international airport: late august 2004
the air awaits
an airplanes wake
only selective eyes
peer down
a rock filled world
below
surely fucked
to the beyond
but still living on